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Having a Difficult Conversation

Question: Today I had a peer coaching session. The person I partnered up with straight after she read out the introductory said, "Oh and if I believe that you are bullshitting, then I will pull you up on that BS." 

This actually took me back somewhat and led me to be quite uncomfortable for the rest of the session. We also ended our session with her giving me three things to do instead of allowing me to come with my three action steps for myself.

My question is, how do I have this conversation with her? How do I let her understand that she is putting her map on my coaching methods, or am I wrong?

Answer: We do mention in Coach Mastery several times that it's crucial to stick to the script. Furthermore, you're right in saying that the coach should have led you to come up with your own actions rather than giving you some. However, I'd look at this from two different angles.

Firstly, you are working with a peer to give feedback, so approaching them with the feedback you've mentioned is helping them to become a better coach. If you state this beforehand and use the model of providing some positive feedback then sharing the constructive feedback, they will be more receptive. Your coaching buddy can then choose to take the feedback on board or not.

Secondly, I would also ask you to reflect on why this made you feel uncomfortable and how this could potentially affect how you work with your clients. As we discuss in Coach Mastery and NLP training, you need to be able to adapt your own beliefs to such behaviours and language that might throw you off. For example, if a client wanted to express themselves, and you, as the coach showed signs of being uncomfortable, this could affect the success of the session.