What is the definition of success? It differs with each individual. But there might be a reason for it to differ. May be two big reasons. Comparison and competition.
We tend to compare with other. Not knowing what is best for us. If we see our relative or a friend in the mechanic trade doing rather successfully. We say oh this trade is good for me. But try to think again. Is it really good for you? Or are we just comparing with someone else’s success. He might have a passion to do the trade. You might be good at carpentry. You can be a success as a carpenter. This comparison have made most of the people unhappy. They are just pulling their life as a horse pulls a cart unwillingly. After many years they forget the real reason to be a mechanic and start blaming the life for it.
Life is hard. Life is cruel. Life has no meaning. Why does this happen with me?
Secondly the competition. Competition almost blind’s the individual. A blind race. Career, progression are the words used to run this race. Asked why are you running. He says, because the one in front of me is running. Asked, why is he running. He says, I don’t know. So we should find the first person who started running in the name of career, progression. The story of the pied piper and the mice. The pied piper played a tune. The first mouse followed the tune. Seeing him follow the other mice followed. What was the end. The deep sea. No one waits and asks himself a question. Why am I running. What is the purpose of this race. Where am I going to reach. What is the destination. If the process of running is so troublesome, difficult, full of unhappiness, resentment, hatred, jealousy, stressed. How will the destination look like.
A question of our real purpose in this world, will instantly dissolve all the problems. Worrying about the past, anxious about the future and stressed in the present mode will not create a pretty future. It will be full of stressed and depression.
When I speak with the year 12 kids, I only see that some are joining a trade due to comparison or competition. No one really knows what exactly he has to do to live a happy life. I told one boy, if you do not know what you like best. You will live your life of maybe 60 years in unhappiness. That is 60 x 365 days. Day in day out, you will regret the decision you made because of comparison or competition.
Sometimes decision are made by the parents. What should the kid do in future. One boy I knew, scored 93percent overall in year 12. He father told him to repeat year 12, so that he can get 99percent overall. He wanted his son to be a doctor. His son committed suicide. Who gained in this process. No one. Only loss.
To put in simple terms, Success is achieving whatever we have planned. No matter how big or small your goal. If you have achieved it, you are successful. This is your own success. Do not compare or compete with any one. Doing what comes naturally is success. Everyone is successful. In fact, success is our second nature. Do not go in search of happiness, love, peace, success, prosperity, silence. We are within it and it is surrounding us. As a mother wraps a blanket around it’s child.
Every moment of the journey is success if we enjoy it. Every moment of our process should be surrounded by happiness. At the end of the journey, we will realise that, no matter, whether the goal decided was achieved. But the ultimate aim of being in happiness is surely achieved.
No matter what we do, how we do, when we do. We are only in the search of permanent happiness, with every deed and action.
Raj – The Life Coaching CollegeDiploma Student